Upon discovery of this silly blog, my friend Tara complained that there weren't any posts about her in it. So I decided to make one. Years ago Tara and I wrote a story together. We were about 12 years old or something so the story makes very little sense. I still laugh when i read it. Just so you know, it makes even less sense because we wrote one line each, Tara taking every second line and I the others. Enjoy.
The Tragic story of a Duck.
Once upon a time there was a duck
Whose name was Bumbag. He had
A really, really big. . .foot. . .
On his foot there was a HUGE
Toe. His toe was so big that he destroyed
His whole town! And when he did
He became Australia's most wanted criminal.
He was banned from all countries besides
Tasmania, it isn't really a country.
One day he was out shopping and
he thought "How can I clear my name?"
So he went to England to meet the queen.
There he was knighted and was called Sir
Flatulence the great.
His giant foot almost destroyed
the Queen's hair.
So he got surgery to shrink his foot but he didn't survive.
He was soon in Heaven when
God kicked him out for stealing Angel wings.
So he fell down to Hell and met a girl named
Little miss evil. They stayed at a pit of
Bumbags when Satan came in and sent them on a Quest.
To find Hitler, teach him how to play ping pong and
How to make muffins
Hitler learned ping pong quickly but kept burning the muffins.
So the devil came and kicked him
and showed off his muffin making skills.
Oh how good they smelled!
But Bumbag made a mistake by saying,
"Hey, did you use arsenic in those?"
The devil was sick of Sir Bumbag
So he kicked him out of Hell.
He was glad to be out of there but he missed his girl friend.
But then he found out she was in love with
Hitler because 0f his ping pong skills.
So he challenged Hitler to a ping pong rally.
He lost. But he had a trick. He said, "What about muffins?"
Unfortunately, Hitler was now a very good muffin maker.
So that night when Little miss evil wasn't there, he kicked Hitler
On the ears so he couldn't hear.
It was such an evil thing to do, he was sent back to Hell.
"I want to live on Earth again!" he would cry every night.
"This is Hitler's fault!" He said. So he stepped on Hitler with his big foot.
SQUISH now Hitler was nothing but a stain on his shoe.
He didn't realise little miss evil was home and she saw the whole thing.
So he stepped on her too, now he had two stains on his shoe.
The devil thought that it was so evil, he made Bumbag the Grim Reaper.
He loved this job! Squishing people.
He squished his teachers, the Fox network, he was so happy.
But then someone squished him.
And that is the story of the duck with a big foot.
. . . We were messed up 12 year old kids Tara. Why on earth is Hitler mentioned so many times? I swear I typed it up, word for word from the original draft we wrote in that notebook, not a thing has been changed except some grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. I am glad that even then we knew the Fox Network needed squishing.
There you have it, a post for Tara, a tragic tale of an off-the-rails duck, and a flash back to the minds of 12 year old Tara and I. Hope you liked it!