Mar 24, 2010

Well i don't get it.

A statement i find myself saying about alot of situations. Like how every single person in the whole world can be unique when being unique is something we have in common so we aren't actually unique so we no longer have anything in common thus making everyone unique and giving everyone something in common. . . . . Well i don't get it.

Something else i don't quite get is how we can possibly fit in when we are supposedly unique, or at least extremely different from everyone else. Sometimes it can feel like everyone else goes together like a perfectly made puzzle while you are only slightly different. Not different enough for someone to notice the puzzles imperfection from afar, but different enough to be cast as a defect when someone does look closer. Feeling like that can only make one wonder if their steady coarse is limited, if it is only a matter of time before someone points and says "You're different. Why are you here?"

The fear of hearing that question can lead to searching for the answer.
"I'm here because i feel like it."
"Im here because i like it here."
"I'm here because no one realised i shouldn't be."
"I'm here because its normal."
"I'm here because its expected of me."
"Why can't i be here?"
"How do you know that i'm not the normal one and that everyone else is different?"
"It hasn't been a problem so far."
"Why. . . do you want me to leave?"
"Well it seemed like a good idea at the time but if its not working. . . "
"Your right i shouldn't be here."
"Sorry i was just waiting until someone decided i should leave."
"Its OK i'm going now."

Thinking too much, I have discovered, can be dreadfully annoying. When a situation gets stuck in my head, sometimes i can't help but run through multipul scenarios in which i confront it. Sometimes we can feel so out of place that we are truely convinced that no one cares if we are there or not. You might sometimes ask yourself, "Would anyone really notice if i wasn't there?" Is this group of people a puzzle where every peice is important, or is it more like a stack of papers and no one notices if a peice is missing?

How can some people fit in so easily while others feel like they don't quite fit? Well i don't get it. Maybe thats an answer i'll have to settle for. There are alot of things like that, questions i just can't find answers too that i'll just have to hope can be worked out. Yeah Eye Thought So is just something i can use to vent, get it all out there, ponder outside my head for once. Well guess i should stop writing before i end up with a post as long as that confronting subject one.


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