Feb 18, 2011

I can't think of an interesting title

It's no secret that change is an odd and inevitable thing. Changes can vary from good to bad to just plain random. Many are annoyingly unavoidable, like getting old or needing a new car because your dearly beloved van exploded. What I think is curious about change is how some changes jump out like a terminator and hit you without so much as an "I'll be back", while others creep up on you, milling in the shadows just out of sight, like a ninja until one day you flick on the light switch and BAM you're ten years older than you realised.

I'm glad to say that the whole growing up thing hasn't slammed me like a freight train just yet. Sixteen is not old enough to start looking for silver strands in the hairline. I am also glad to say that I'm growing up and am pleased with my progress so far. Sure I miss nap time, but I earned my current shoe size and I won't be going back from a 9 anytime soon. That's right, size 9 women's. If you want to buy me shoes, refer to this.

So why all this talk of change? Well just today when I was hanging out the washing for my dad (aren't I nice?) I remembered when I was younger and had some dark blue shoes that were pretty cool. I have no idea why I recalled this while hanging out the washing and I have no idea where my shoe obsession has come from but it is relevant I assure you.

So, I had these cool dark blue jogging shoes that I would wear an awful lot. I wore them so much that they got massive holes in the soles and out the front. My feet also outgrew them to the point that my toe would stick out the hole. Mum didn't notice for a while because I didn't draw attention to it but when she did we went straight to Big W to get a new pair. Would you believe they had a shiny new and nicer smelling pair of the same shoes in a bigger size just waiting for me? Honestly I think my mum must have been incredibly relieved to have such a quick shoe shopping trip. If I remember my toddler years correctly, shoe shopping with kids is horrible.

My mum got me the new shoes that fit much better and I was shocked to see the real damage to my old pair in comparison to their beautiful and young replacements. It wasn't just the obvious holes that made walking through puddles a sock-drenching wonder, but what was really surprising was how much the blue had faded. I knew I had needed the new shoes but really, how had the colour vanished so much without me noticing? Had it bled while I walked through the door of Big W? Would I find a dark blue puddle in front of one of those wet floor signs at the check out?

It's the sneaky ninja changes that are the real wonder. The changes that happen so gradually your eyes get used to them and it seems like there is no change at all, until you get a glimpse of how it used to be. You spot a pencil line somewhere low on the wall where you were measured as a kid, you find an old t-shirt in a box tucked away in the garage that looks small enough to fit on a teddy bear and remember fitting in it yourself. Or maybe you find a mix you made years ago, listen to it for nostalgia's sake, and find yourself wondering aloud "Who on earth would put this much Kelly Clarkson on a mix?" only to realise you are making fun of your own tastes.

From Kelly Clarkson to Saint Motel, from impossibly tiny to women's 9, from gameboy colour to a Samsung Netbook named George. These are just a few gradual changes that I am immensely pleased for, but there are still changes that I would be OK about taking back even for just a moment. Like the change from nap time and ABC's to sleep deprivation and World War II research.

Though now that I try to think of things that I associate with childhood that have changed drastically, I have trouble finding them. I'm looking around my room for examples only to see a sailor hat, a pile of soft toy monkeys, bed sheets of Lightning McQueen from Disney's 'Cars', a Nerf Gun and Nerf Sword, and a pair of rainbow striped gumboots. Guess I'm not as grown up as I claimed.


1 comment:

  1. I love the way you write :) And you aren't as grown up as you claim.. but then again.. Neither am I :P xx


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