I guess the chances of my junk masterpiece turning out like these are slim to none.
Jul 28, 2010
Stop glaring at me Half-completed homework!
In the war of English homework versus geography homework versus procrastination, guess who wins? I justify my procrastinating by doing 'research' for Art. Really I'm just looking at pictures of junk that has been turned into art but still it's not like I'm on facebook. . . . oh wait I am.
Jul 26, 2010
I wonder what I will write in the title box?
I have returned People. I decided to try and make at least one blog post a week. What they will be about, well that is bound to vary from the different to the uninterpretable. Today I have no idea what to write about so I think I will just blabber unintelligibly. Kidding I'll just get on with it.
I wonder how much of our memories are real. I recently read a book (big surprise the book nerd has been reading again) called vanishing acts by Jodi Picoult. The book is about one miss Delia Hopkins -What are the odds- that has lived in the same house since she was five, with the same two next door neighbours her age, one of which she is engaged to and has a daughter with. She spent her days searching for missing persons with her search and rescue dog, until the police showed up and arrested her father for kidnapping. Kidnapping her.
Awesome book, but what has got me thinking is the fact that Delia was too young to even remember this. She was five when her father took her from her home, i think it was in Phoenix or something. I don't know I've read like five different books since I finished this one. Anyway, she has no memories of her old life until she starts searching for them. It made me wonder. . .
If people can unconsciously block out memories that they don't want, memories too traumatic to keep within reach, then how much of our memories do we really keep? It is a natural reaction for people to block out their own stupidity, their own mistakes, or even the stupidity or mistakes of the people that matter to them, Especially if these memories have an effect on why you are the way you are. So if every mistake we made was a mistake we discarded of mentally, then there really isn't much memory left to explore.
Perhaps our worst memories, the memories that hurt too much to keep in our sights, the memories that we leave behind in hope of no return, are what fuel our nightmares. Dreams are made up of memories, so if nightmares exist, then memories can't possibly disappear.
The way I see it, nightmares are like mosquitoes. There is no logical reason for their existence, other than to annoy.
-JustMe
I wonder how much of our memories are real. I recently read a book (big surprise the book nerd has been reading again) called vanishing acts by Jodi Picoult. The book is about one miss Delia Hopkins -What are the odds- that has lived in the same house since she was five, with the same two next door neighbours her age, one of which she is engaged to and has a daughter with. She spent her days searching for missing persons with her search and rescue dog, until the police showed up and arrested her father for kidnapping. Kidnapping her.
Awesome book, but what has got me thinking is the fact that Delia was too young to even remember this. She was five when her father took her from her home, i think it was in Phoenix or something. I don't know I've read like five different books since I finished this one. Anyway, she has no memories of her old life until she starts searching for them. It made me wonder. . .
If people can unconsciously block out memories that they don't want, memories too traumatic to keep within reach, then how much of our memories do we really keep? It is a natural reaction for people to block out their own stupidity, their own mistakes, or even the stupidity or mistakes of the people that matter to them, Especially if these memories have an effect on why you are the way you are. So if every mistake we made was a mistake we discarded of mentally, then there really isn't much memory left to explore.
Perhaps our worst memories, the memories that hurt too much to keep in our sights, the memories that we leave behind in hope of no return, are what fuel our nightmares. Dreams are made up of memories, so if nightmares exist, then memories can't possibly disappear.
The way I see it, nightmares are like mosquitoes. There is no logical reason for their existence, other than to annoy.
-JustMe
Jul 19, 2010
Putting effort into work is like giving birth, only you appreciate the pain as much as the final product.
Ok so maybe the title isn't entirely true but i hope i made you laugh. Alot of the time the title of my posts doesn't have anything to do with the posts but today it does. You see, my art class recently had a practical assessment task and the effort I put in was so not worth it.
Seeing as I need to write the process in which I took to make the artwork that I am not pleased with, and I can't write things in a formal way without wanting to tear the paper in half, I decided to write it as a blog post. Let's face it, no matter how we do something in art class we can claim it was to add creativity to our work. Everything we do in art can be explained away as a form of art. Shall I begin?
****************************************************
For our second term assessment task, we did the subject of graffiti art; is it art or vandalism? The task was to select an every day object and deface it, vandalise it in whatever way we wanted. When I did my assignment I worked from an original idea that changed as I progressed. I am a little dissapointed with how it worked out; I wish i had stuck to my original idea.
I selected an old discarded chair that would have been used in a primary school class room. The chair was small and made for a child, so I figured it would best portray innocence. My plan was to paint the small blue chair with bright prime colours (red, yellow, blue and green) to represent childhood. I was then going to 'graffiti' words onto the chair, words that weren't exactly 'cheerful'. The words would vary from song lyrics to poetic extracts to just random words one would assosciate with growing up.
The graffiti would represent the passage into adulthood and the difficulties involved. The combination of the child's chair and the emotional phrases would represent growing up and the innocence lost along the way. I believe, had I kept to this idea, my artwork would have turned out alot better.
I had my chair so I painted an undercoat of white, just to give myself a base to work with. By the time I finished the white coat, however, I discovered a problem: I couldn't find all the colours I needed to complete the chair. I found a large tin of red paint, but the yellow blue and green, if they were available at all, must have been hiding from me. Because it was in the middle of a double lesson, and I really wasn't dedicated enough to keep looking for more paint, I picked up the tin of red and thought "close enough".
I ended up ditching the bright colour idea and just making the whole chair a depressing emo looking type thing with alot of dark song lyrics scribbled on it. That first change in ideas, I think, ruined my work but I was determined. Also at the time I didn't really think it would turn out bad. So I painted my chair completely red, and it did look pretty cool. Then it was time for the words.
Over the weeks I had written various song lyrics and phrases I had heard or read into a notebook to possibly be used on my chair. When it came time to put the words on there I was pretty psyched thinking "Oh yeah this is gonna be easy I'll make a stencil type thing and use black paint to put the words on and it will turn out to be some cool emo chair that won't suit me at all." Expectations, I have learned, are rarely the reality.
So I had my little dark red chair, my notebook half filled with lyrics and a tin of black paint. Had I realised it was enamel paint that lesson may have turned out a little better. I made one stenciled word, which took ages by the way. The word was 'scream'. The words that were to follow were 'for some silence' but i didn't end up making those stencils.
I put the 'scream' cut out onto the seat of my chair and started painting over top of it with the black enamel paint. I thought I would be greeted with a nice clean looking 'scream' when I removed the cut out. Instead I was greeted by a black blob. So the stencil didn't work, all that time making it was wasted and the rest of that lesson consisted of me repainting the red and trying to wash the black paint off my hands.
The next lesson I pulled out my black permanent marker and wrote 'scream for some silence' on the seat of my chair, free hand in the font I had been practicing over and over. It was great, it took almost no time at all and looked alright. So I turned the chair around and started writing another phrase on the back, a lyric from the same song (unhearted by automatic love letter).
The phrase I was writing on the back was 'breathe because it's necessary'. I discovered that day how much I hate writing the word necessary. I am never sure if it is spelled correctly and I always forget how many c's there are. After some time of figuring out how to correctly spell necessary I had the phrase written. Then I realised how rediculous a phrase looks when you forget the e on the end of breathe. Breath because it's necessary? Really? So I painted over that passage simply because I didn't want to look at it anymore and the lesson ended.
My return to this project was a little better. I avoided spelling mistakes, I wrote many fancy lyrics and phrases and I was feeling quite good about myself. The next few times we returned I managed to fill the chair with words. I even wrote 'famous last words' across the end of the seat, though you couldn't tell with all the jammed lettering.
Just as I thought it could pass as finished, I doubted myself. Again. The first time was with the bright colours, which I am convinced I should have stuck to. This time I thought it needed more. There was a can of shiny gold spray paint sitting right on the desk beside me and my chair was looking bland. I could have just out lined the chair, or even just sprayed the legs (now that i think about it, I totally should have sprayed the legs) but no. I decided to spray paint, freehand, 'last words' across the whole front of the chair.
Mistake number 1: When writing something permanent make sure you have room to fit it.
Mistake number 2: When writing something permanent, make sure it is readable.
So I ended up with a dark red chair, covered it black unreadable words that has what looks like 'last word' -if you squint and tilt your head to the side- in gold across it. I couldn't even fit the 's'. The 'a' looks like a 'u'.
In conclusion, the assignment was great, I just didn't handle it well. I think next time if I think through it more carefully and stick to a precise plan, no matter what my head tells me to do, I will end up with an artwork I actually am happy with.
******************************
And there you go readers that is my homework done and a long awaited blog post finished. Good night.
-JustMe
Seeing as I need to write the process in which I took to make the artwork that I am not pleased with, and I can't write things in a formal way without wanting to tear the paper in half, I decided to write it as a blog post. Let's face it, no matter how we do something in art class we can claim it was to add creativity to our work. Everything we do in art can be explained away as a form of art. Shall I begin?
****************************************************
For our second term assessment task, we did the subject of graffiti art; is it art or vandalism? The task was to select an every day object and deface it, vandalise it in whatever way we wanted. When I did my assignment I worked from an original idea that changed as I progressed. I am a little dissapointed with how it worked out; I wish i had stuck to my original idea.
I selected an old discarded chair that would have been used in a primary school class room. The chair was small and made for a child, so I figured it would best portray innocence. My plan was to paint the small blue chair with bright prime colours (red, yellow, blue and green) to represent childhood. I was then going to 'graffiti' words onto the chair, words that weren't exactly 'cheerful'. The words would vary from song lyrics to poetic extracts to just random words one would assosciate with growing up.
The graffiti would represent the passage into adulthood and the difficulties involved. The combination of the child's chair and the emotional phrases would represent growing up and the innocence lost along the way. I believe, had I kept to this idea, my artwork would have turned out alot better.
I had my chair so I painted an undercoat of white, just to give myself a base to work with. By the time I finished the white coat, however, I discovered a problem: I couldn't find all the colours I needed to complete the chair. I found a large tin of red paint, but the yellow blue and green, if they were available at all, must have been hiding from me. Because it was in the middle of a double lesson, and I really wasn't dedicated enough to keep looking for more paint, I picked up the tin of red and thought "close enough".
I ended up ditching the bright colour idea and just making the whole chair a depressing emo looking type thing with alot of dark song lyrics scribbled on it. That first change in ideas, I think, ruined my work but I was determined. Also at the time I didn't really think it would turn out bad. So I painted my chair completely red, and it did look pretty cool. Then it was time for the words.
Over the weeks I had written various song lyrics and phrases I had heard or read into a notebook to possibly be used on my chair. When it came time to put the words on there I was pretty psyched thinking "Oh yeah this is gonna be easy I'll make a stencil type thing and use black paint to put the words on and it will turn out to be some cool emo chair that won't suit me at all." Expectations, I have learned, are rarely the reality.
So I had my little dark red chair, my notebook half filled with lyrics and a tin of black paint. Had I realised it was enamel paint that lesson may have turned out a little better. I made one stenciled word, which took ages by the way. The word was 'scream'. The words that were to follow were 'for some silence' but i didn't end up making those stencils.
I put the 'scream' cut out onto the seat of my chair and started painting over top of it with the black enamel paint. I thought I would be greeted with a nice clean looking 'scream' when I removed the cut out. Instead I was greeted by a black blob. So the stencil didn't work, all that time making it was wasted and the rest of that lesson consisted of me repainting the red and trying to wash the black paint off my hands.
The next lesson I pulled out my black permanent marker and wrote 'scream for some silence' on the seat of my chair, free hand in the font I had been practicing over and over. It was great, it took almost no time at all and looked alright. So I turned the chair around and started writing another phrase on the back, a lyric from the same song (unhearted by automatic love letter).
The phrase I was writing on the back was 'breathe because it's necessary'. I discovered that day how much I hate writing the word necessary. I am never sure if it is spelled correctly and I always forget how many c's there are. After some time of figuring out how to correctly spell necessary I had the phrase written. Then I realised how rediculous a phrase looks when you forget the e on the end of breathe. Breath because it's necessary? Really? So I painted over that passage simply because I didn't want to look at it anymore and the lesson ended.
My return to this project was a little better. I avoided spelling mistakes, I wrote many fancy lyrics and phrases and I was feeling quite good about myself. The next few times we returned I managed to fill the chair with words. I even wrote 'famous last words' across the end of the seat, though you couldn't tell with all the jammed lettering.
Just as I thought it could pass as finished, I doubted myself. Again. The first time was with the bright colours, which I am convinced I should have stuck to. This time I thought it needed more. There was a can of shiny gold spray paint sitting right on the desk beside me and my chair was looking bland. I could have just out lined the chair, or even just sprayed the legs (now that i think about it, I totally should have sprayed the legs) but no. I decided to spray paint, freehand, 'last words' across the whole front of the chair.
Mistake number 1: When writing something permanent make sure you have room to fit it.
Mistake number 2: When writing something permanent, make sure it is readable.
So I ended up with a dark red chair, covered it black unreadable words that has what looks like 'last word' -if you squint and tilt your head to the side- in gold across it. I couldn't even fit the 's'. The 'a' looks like a 'u'.
In conclusion, the assignment was great, I just didn't handle it well. I think next time if I think through it more carefully and stick to a precise plan, no matter what my head tells me to do, I will end up with an artwork I actually am happy with.
******************************
And there you go readers that is my homework done and a long awaited blog post finished. Good night.
-JustMe
Jun 26, 2010
You are awesome.
When was the last time someone complimented you? When was the last time you complimented someone else? When was the last time you made someones day? I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just trying to point out something that I realised recently.
You know how people say that smiling is contagious? Well it is very true. You see someone smile at you and it will make you smile. Someone notices you smile, and they will smile. Keep this going and before you know it there are hundreds of cheerful people wandering the streets.
However, this doesn't always work. I believe that smiles are contagious but only genuine smiles. You can tell when someones cheerful look is put on, it is obvious when a person says "have a nice day" because it's their job not because they want to. So if you see someone smile at you when you walk the streets but they aren't really, truly smiling, it doesn't make you smile.
How do we solve this problem? The happiness can't spread if the first supposedly happy person is faking their joy. So what do we do about these actors? How about we turn their smiles to real smiles? In the short film, Validation, there is a guy that lives to make people smile. He just gives people honest compliments, telling them how awesome they are. Who doesn't want to hear that? No one can say honestly that a random compliment from a stranger wouldn't make their day.
I learned something from watching Validation. A contagious smile has to start somewhere, so who will be the one to start it?
Here<--- is the link to the video, if you want to watch it. It is quite awesome.
JustMe
You know how people say that smiling is contagious? Well it is very true. You see someone smile at you and it will make you smile. Someone notices you smile, and they will smile. Keep this going and before you know it there are hundreds of cheerful people wandering the streets.
However, this doesn't always work. I believe that smiles are contagious but only genuine smiles. You can tell when someones cheerful look is put on, it is obvious when a person says "have a nice day" because it's their job not because they want to. So if you see someone smile at you when you walk the streets but they aren't really, truly smiling, it doesn't make you smile.
How do we solve this problem? The happiness can't spread if the first supposedly happy person is faking their joy. So what do we do about these actors? How about we turn their smiles to real smiles? In the short film, Validation, there is a guy that lives to make people smile. He just gives people honest compliments, telling them how awesome they are. Who doesn't want to hear that? No one can say honestly that a random compliment from a stranger wouldn't make their day.
I learned something from watching Validation. A contagious smile has to start somewhere, so who will be the one to start it?
Here<--- is the link to the video, if you want to watch it. It is quite awesome.
JustMe
Jun 22, 2010
I don't care if we're the same size, my shoes aren't going to fit you.
I remember in third grade at school, my friend Nathan randomly asked me if I could walk in someone elses shoes for a day, who would I choose? At first, because I was only 8 years old, I thought he mean litteral shoes. I wasn't sure why he would want to go trying on someone elses shoes. I wasn't too dumb though because it wasn't long before I figured out what he actually meant: If I could live the life of anotherfor a day, who would it be?
I wasn't sure who I would choose, but apparently Nathan would choose one of the kids in the class that was given easier work because they struggled, that way he could get their grades up and most likely be rewarded. At the time I probably just thought that was a practical idea then went on to play with lego or draw dragons or whatever it was I did in year 3. I don't even know if Nathan remembers; I doubt we have the same random flashbacks of childhood. The memory just occured to me the other day when I was daydreaming -I mean, paying close attention to the world war one video in history- and it made me think, how would I answer that question now if Nathan asked me?
I wouldn't think he meant litteral shoes (I don't think. . . ), but would I still be unsure of my answer? Maybe I would say something like "Rachel McAdams. I'd be rich and famous for a day and wouldn't even have to get used to answering to a different name" or maybe an equally sarcastic answer. But then I would probably, as I inevitably must, consider it seriously afterwards. Am I really happy enough with who I am to say I wouldn't want to be anyone else for a day? Is anyone?
Something to ponder.
JustMe
I wasn't sure who I would choose, but apparently Nathan would choose one of the kids in the class that was given easier work because they struggled, that way he could get their grades up and most likely be rewarded. At the time I probably just thought that was a practical idea then went on to play with lego or draw dragons or whatever it was I did in year 3. I don't even know if Nathan remembers; I doubt we have the same random flashbacks of childhood. The memory just occured to me the other day when I was daydreaming -I mean, paying close attention to the world war one video in history- and it made me think, how would I answer that question now if Nathan asked me?
I wouldn't think he meant litteral shoes (I don't think. . . ), but would I still be unsure of my answer? Maybe I would say something like "Rachel McAdams. I'd be rich and famous for a day and wouldn't even have to get used to answering to a different name" or maybe an equally sarcastic answer. But then I would probably, as I inevitably must, consider it seriously afterwards. Am I really happy enough with who I am to say I wouldn't want to be anyone else for a day? Is anyone?
Something to ponder.
JustMe
Jun 13, 2010
And this is how we procrastinate
Well I have written the story of lyrics and it turned out to be more difficult than I thought it would be. The story itself is. . . interesting.
Here is the list of songs included in the story:
Taylor by Jack Johnson- lollypop Mika-Which to bury, us or the hatchet? by Reliant k- love story by taylor swif- bad romance by lady gaga- over thinking by reliant k- beat it by Micheal Jackson- you aint' nothin' but a hound dog by elvis presly- the bright side by never shout never- holiday by greenday- Alphadog by Fall Out boy- which to bury, us or the hatchet? by reliant k (yeah its on here twice)- superman by lazlo bane- sugar we're goin' down by Fall Out Boy- America's suite hearts by Fall Out Boy- brick by boring brick by Paramore- complicated by Avril Lavigne (however you spell her name)- decode by Paramore- from now on we're enemies by Fall Out Boy- the scientist by coldplay.
The story is quite strange and makes little sense but I said i would post it here so. . . enjoy.
They say Taylor was a good girl never wants to be late but she did have a guilty pleasure. She would eat lots of candy, even though her mother told her "too much candy's gonna rot your soul" Taylor thought her mum was just being dramatic and replied,"I love candy and I know my heart will break the day it is all gone." She wasn't all about candy though. She also enjoyed reading the occasional love story or even a bad romance.
One day Taylor was walking along the street to the candy shop, overthinking about what would happen that day. "There's just too many scenarios to analyse" she thought. Suddenly a dog jumped out of no where and started talking to taylor, telling her to beat it.
"You aint' nothin' but a hound dog." she said "Why should I listen to you?" The dog claimed he was only as small as the world will make him seem then told taylor to leave him alone so he could enjoy his holiday.
Taylor didn't know why her day had involved a talking Alpha dog. She thought that by now she should have realised what she had to do to stop the weirdness.
Taylor tripped and heard someone say "There aint' no hand to break your fall" To taylor what the man had said sounded like it was just a line in a song. A passing butterfly decided to join the weirdness by saying "Why, why, why won't the world revolve around me?" Taylor was so confused that she felt like ripping wings off of butterflys, but she decided to continue to the candy store instead.
Taylor thought her mother might have been right about too much candy. Then she realised exactly why everything had sounded like a song. The answer wasn't complicated too much candy had just been rotting her soul.
Taylor looked at the candy store and said "How can I decide what's right when you're clouding up my mind?". In that moment Taylor swore off candy by staring at it and saying "From now on, we're enemies"
No body said it was easy, but Taylor managed to give up candy.The End.
Strange story wasn't it? Well it was a great time killer.
Here is the list of songs included in the story:
Taylor by Jack Johnson- lollypop Mika-Which to bury, us or the hatchet? by Reliant k- love story by taylor swif- bad romance by lady gaga- over thinking by reliant k- beat it by Micheal Jackson- you aint' nothin' but a hound dog by elvis presly- the bright side by never shout never- holiday by greenday- Alphadog by Fall Out boy- which to bury, us or the hatchet? by reliant k (yeah its on here twice)- superman by lazlo bane- sugar we're goin' down by Fall Out Boy- America's suite hearts by Fall Out Boy- brick by boring brick by Paramore- complicated by Avril Lavigne (however you spell her name)- decode by Paramore- from now on we're enemies by Fall Out Boy- the scientist by coldplay.
The story is quite strange and makes little sense but I said i would post it here so. . . enjoy.
They say Taylor was a good girl never wants to be late but she did have a guilty pleasure. She would eat lots of candy, even though her mother told her "too much candy's gonna rot your soul" Taylor thought her mum was just being dramatic and replied,"I love candy and I know my heart will break the day it is all gone." She wasn't all about candy though. She also enjoyed reading the occasional love story or even a bad romance.
One day Taylor was walking along the street to the candy shop, overthinking about what would happen that day. "There's just too many scenarios to analyse" she thought. Suddenly a dog jumped out of no where and started talking to taylor, telling her to beat it.
"You aint' nothin' but a hound dog." she said "Why should I listen to you?" The dog claimed he was only as small as the world will make him seem then told taylor to leave him alone so he could enjoy his holiday.
Taylor didn't know why her day had involved a talking Alpha dog. She thought that by now she should have realised what she had to do to stop the weirdness.
Taylor tripped and heard someone say "There aint' no hand to break your fall" To taylor what the man had said sounded like it was just a line in a song. A passing butterfly decided to join the weirdness by saying "Why, why, why won't the world revolve around me?" Taylor was so confused that she felt like ripping wings off of butterflys, but she decided to continue to the candy store instead.
Taylor thought her mother might have been right about too much candy. Then she realised exactly why everything had sounded like a song. The answer wasn't complicated too much candy had just been rotting her soul.
Taylor looked at the candy store and said "How can I decide what's right when you're clouding up my mind?". In that moment Taylor swore off candy by staring at it and saying "From now on, we're enemies"
No body said it was easy, but Taylor managed to give up candy.The End.
Strange story wasn't it? Well it was a great time killer.
Jun 11, 2010
Keep your feet on the ground when your heads in the clouds
Well i changed the look of the blog again. I think it is much nicer now. If you don't like it get your own blog. Anyway it has been a few days I think since my last post. I should probably be doing something productive right now like assignments but who does that these days?
Speaking of assignments I recently painted a chair in Art class and then I wrote a bunch of song lyrics on it. I want to get a picture on here of it even though it wasn't that great. When I was thinking of what to write on the chair the easiest idea was song lyrics. I could have done some poetry or something but does anyone really need their poetry written somewhere people will sit on?
So I ended up writing down any lyrics I thought were particularly interesting when I was listening to music. Alot of the lyrics came from Fall Out Boy and Paramore songs(big surprise!) but there was also a fair few from unhearted by Automatic love letter. Just the name of that band tells you they gotta have good lyrics.
I decided that I should put some of my favorite lyrics on here. Then I thought about it and decided to do something that would be more intersting. I will attempt to Write a short narative that contains at least one song lyric in each sentence. And if i can't get a song lyric into a sentence i will put two in the next one. Challenge accepted!
I know what you are thinking. "But however will we know what part of the sentence is a song lyric when barely anyone can understand fall out boy lyrics and not many people listen to whats on your mp3?" Good question! You're so smart! So I have thought about this for an extremely long time and decided on a well thought out conclusion. Kidding. I just came up with an idea then while i was typing about it.
I will write in the next post on here my song lyric story then the post after it will be the list of songs and their artists that are featured. I may also simply use song titles. I mean, have you seen the titles of fall out boy songs? "A little less sixteen candles a little more touch me" is the name of one of fall out boys songs. Anyway I will now work on this little project. Should be fun. Enjoy the new layout!
-JustMe
Speaking of assignments I recently painted a chair in Art class and then I wrote a bunch of song lyrics on it. I want to get a picture on here of it even though it wasn't that great. When I was thinking of what to write on the chair the easiest idea was song lyrics. I could have done some poetry or something but does anyone really need their poetry written somewhere people will sit on?
So I ended up writing down any lyrics I thought were particularly interesting when I was listening to music. Alot of the lyrics came from Fall Out Boy and Paramore songs(big surprise!) but there was also a fair few from unhearted by Automatic love letter. Just the name of that band tells you they gotta have good lyrics.
I decided that I should put some of my favorite lyrics on here. Then I thought about it and decided to do something that would be more intersting. I will attempt to Write a short narative that contains at least one song lyric in each sentence. And if i can't get a song lyric into a sentence i will put two in the next one. Challenge accepted!
I know what you are thinking. "But however will we know what part of the sentence is a song lyric when barely anyone can understand fall out boy lyrics and not many people listen to whats on your mp3?" Good question! You're so smart! So I have thought about this for an extremely long time and decided on a well thought out conclusion. Kidding. I just came up with an idea then while i was typing about it.
I will write in the next post on here my song lyric story then the post after it will be the list of songs and their artists that are featured. I may also simply use song titles. I mean, have you seen the titles of fall out boy songs? "A little less sixteen candles a little more touch me" is the name of one of fall out boys songs. Anyway I will now work on this little project. Should be fun. Enjoy the new layout!
-JustMe
Jun 3, 2010
Taking advantage of a good mood. And that my friends is the key to happiness.
Howdy y'all. I just thought I would start witht that to see how many of you read it with a southern accent. You know you did. Anyway ever since I had my prolonged period of no blogging then that really long blog post I have felt the need to write even more.
I find that alot of my ideas for stories and such come to me during class. Then, being the hard worker that I am, I start to mentally brainstorm with myself with what i will do with that idea. I picture the unfolding intro of the possible story in several ways until the teacher tells me to stop staring out the window and pay attention (thats only happened a few times because I have almost mastered the looking-like-I'm-paying-attention-but-I'm-actually-daydreaming face).
I bet you are thinking "Why are you telling us this? We have better things to do than hear you're silly daydreaming stories". Well my friend I am telling you this because I am thinking of writing a story and I am thinking of putting it on here. Not sure I should though. So I am asking you, all three of you, to tell me if i should or not. That is assuming I end up writing it anyway. Alot of the time I end up convincing myself it was a silly idea to begin with or I end up changing the original story idea so much in my head that it loses its appeal.
See this is how it works in my mind when I am struck with an idea. I'll be sitting in math class listening to Mr. Beaver talk about numbers while I draw cartoon beavers wearing his glasses (shut up I think its funny) when suddenly I get an idea. Lets say my thought is "Imagine if Mr. Beaver turned into an actual beaver" (this thought has never ever occured to me it is just an example). I then begin to expand on this thought.
"What if he could only talk to one person? What if that person only spoke beaver and chinese so the person could understand him but not vise versa? What if he was on a bus that had a bomb on it? What if when the bus went less than 50 miles an hour the bomb went off? What if it turned out that the weird kid he met was actually a vampire that sparkled- wait, no, stop. Just. . . no."
Brainstorming by yourself is fun if you know how. The other participants think like you and there are very little arguments. Of coarse that doesn't mean the thinking doesn't get out of hand. My brainstorming methods might seem completely unusual and untidy and just plain confusing, but they do work for me.
See I told you in the last post that I would be sharing everything, didn't I? Well I think I said something along the lines of I'll be more honest or. . . something.
JustMe
I find that alot of my ideas for stories and such come to me during class. Then, being the hard worker that I am, I start to mentally brainstorm with myself with what i will do with that idea. I picture the unfolding intro of the possible story in several ways until the teacher tells me to stop staring out the window and pay attention (thats only happened a few times because I have almost mastered the looking-like-I'm-paying-attention-but-I'm-actually-daydreaming face).
I bet you are thinking "Why are you telling us this? We have better things to do than hear you're silly daydreaming stories". Well my friend I am telling you this because I am thinking of writing a story and I am thinking of putting it on here. Not sure I should though. So I am asking you, all three of you, to tell me if i should or not. That is assuming I end up writing it anyway. Alot of the time I end up convincing myself it was a silly idea to begin with or I end up changing the original story idea so much in my head that it loses its appeal.
See this is how it works in my mind when I am struck with an idea. I'll be sitting in math class listening to Mr. Beaver talk about numbers while I draw cartoon beavers wearing his glasses (shut up I think its funny) when suddenly I get an idea. Lets say my thought is "Imagine if Mr. Beaver turned into an actual beaver" (this thought has never ever occured to me it is just an example). I then begin to expand on this thought.
"What if he could only talk to one person? What if that person only spoke beaver and chinese so the person could understand him but not vise versa? What if he was on a bus that had a bomb on it? What if when the bus went less than 50 miles an hour the bomb went off? What if it turned out that the weird kid he met was actually a vampire that sparkled- wait, no, stop. Just. . . no."
Brainstorming by yourself is fun if you know how. The other participants think like you and there are very little arguments. Of coarse that doesn't mean the thinking doesn't get out of hand. My brainstorming methods might seem completely unusual and untidy and just plain confusing, but they do work for me.
See I told you in the last post that I would be sharing everything, didn't I? Well I think I said something along the lines of I'll be more honest or. . . something.
JustMe
May 31, 2010
We can live like Jack and Sally if you want. . .
Hello my three readers. I appologise for my lack of posting recently. I blame the internet failing on me, but that isn't the only reason. Sure it is difficult to post on a blog page that refuses to open but what is more difficult is writing on a blog when you don't know what to write about.
No this is no case of writers block but perhapse of stage fright or second guessing or overthinking. I believe it may be a combination of all these things and possibly more. I know I am prone to stage fright, only recently have i realised how much so. I know I definately do second guess myself but don't we all? Or do we? No we don't. Wait maybe. . . Jokes.
Overthinking is what made me start this blog in the first place, so why is it keeping me from writing my thoughts? I don't know. Maybe now that there are actually people reading it I realise why i didnt tell anyone it was mine in the first place. Why I wanted to be incognito in the firstplace. Don't you just love the word incognito? Is it even spanish?
Now I am doing what I do best, making lame jokes to avoid the matter I'm facing. The truth is I made yeah eye thought so to get these thoughts out of my head but when confronted with the knowlage that my friends and family have my thoughts on display infront of them, when they ask me to post more (it is flattering and gives me a severe case of the warm fuzzies, I feel the need to add) I get to the 'new post' page and I freeze.
I find something to distract myself with because I don't want to filter my thoughts before I put them on here, that isn't what this is about, but because of the people reading it there are things I can't say. I can't say everything I'm feeling for fear of embarassment. If I suddenly have a revelation and realise that i want to be a proffessional mexican wrestler I can't blog about it. What if you don't approve? What if you think it's too racially insensitive? What if you have an uncle that was killed by a mexican wrestler and you swore to get your revenge by killing every mexican wrestler you came into contact with? We'd all be screwed then, now wouldn't we?
Here I go joking again. The truth is, everyone wants people to read there minds because they haven't the courage to let their thoughts out themselves. If we could get past that fear and just share our thoughts, would the world be better, or worse? It's like that movie the invention of lying, everyone tells everyone exactly what they are thinking. The tag line for pepsi is 'for when they don't have coke'. People say exactly what they are thinking and in the film it makes that kind of life look miserable. But what if, rather than having the inability to keep things to yourself, you simply weren't afraid to do so?
In coming another reference! In the mortal instruments series by Cassandra Clare there is a part when one of the characters loses his fear completely. His parents walk in a moment after the change has occurred he immediately goes to tell them all the things he had been keeping from them. Awkward. So if we weren't afraid to tell the truth would we just spill our secrets and feelings to everyone? Or would we keep things to ourselves still?
I issue a challenge to myself. I am going to keep at this blog. I am going to be as honest as I was when no one was reading it. No excuses, no holding back, no holds barred. If there is something I need to get out of my head that I know might make you think different, if it is my honest oppinion I am going to write it, or at least try to. I don't lie on this blog but that doesn't necessarily mean I write everything I am thinking. Though I do write alot of what I'm thinking.
For instance, I hate writing the word necessary. I delete it and re type it at least twice before I get it right and it has been bugging me all week. It's like all the times I have needed to write the word necessary have been saved up for this week! Oh well.
Heres to a really long post filled with what I avoided posting before.
JustMe
No this is no case of writers block but perhapse of stage fright or second guessing or overthinking. I believe it may be a combination of all these things and possibly more. I know I am prone to stage fright, only recently have i realised how much so. I know I definately do second guess myself but don't we all? Or do we? No we don't. Wait maybe. . . Jokes.
Overthinking is what made me start this blog in the first place, so why is it keeping me from writing my thoughts? I don't know. Maybe now that there are actually people reading it I realise why i didnt tell anyone it was mine in the first place. Why I wanted to be incognito in the firstplace. Don't you just love the word incognito? Is it even spanish?
Now I am doing what I do best, making lame jokes to avoid the matter I'm facing. The truth is I made yeah eye thought so to get these thoughts out of my head but when confronted with the knowlage that my friends and family have my thoughts on display infront of them, when they ask me to post more (it is flattering and gives me a severe case of the warm fuzzies, I feel the need to add) I get to the 'new post' page and I freeze.
I find something to distract myself with because I don't want to filter my thoughts before I put them on here, that isn't what this is about, but because of the people reading it there are things I can't say. I can't say everything I'm feeling for fear of embarassment. If I suddenly have a revelation and realise that i want to be a proffessional mexican wrestler I can't blog about it. What if you don't approve? What if you think it's too racially insensitive? What if you have an uncle that was killed by a mexican wrestler and you swore to get your revenge by killing every mexican wrestler you came into contact with? We'd all be screwed then, now wouldn't we?
Here I go joking again. The truth is, everyone wants people to read there minds because they haven't the courage to let their thoughts out themselves. If we could get past that fear and just share our thoughts, would the world be better, or worse? It's like that movie the invention of lying, everyone tells everyone exactly what they are thinking. The tag line for pepsi is 'for when they don't have coke'. People say exactly what they are thinking and in the film it makes that kind of life look miserable. But what if, rather than having the inability to keep things to yourself, you simply weren't afraid to do so?
In coming another reference! In the mortal instruments series by Cassandra Clare there is a part when one of the characters loses his fear completely. His parents walk in a moment after the change has occurred he immediately goes to tell them all the things he had been keeping from them. Awkward. So if we weren't afraid to tell the truth would we just spill our secrets and feelings to everyone? Or would we keep things to ourselves still?
I issue a challenge to myself. I am going to keep at this blog. I am going to be as honest as I was when no one was reading it. No excuses, no holding back, no holds barred. If there is something I need to get out of my head that I know might make you think different, if it is my honest oppinion I am going to write it, or at least try to. I don't lie on this blog but that doesn't necessarily mean I write everything I am thinking. Though I do write alot of what I'm thinking.
For instance, I hate writing the word necessary. I delete it and re type it at least twice before I get it right and it has been bugging me all week. It's like all the times I have needed to write the word necessary have been saved up for this week! Oh well.
Heres to a really long post filled with what I avoided posting before.
JustMe
May 9, 2010
More ramblings of the curious kind
There are a billion things that can make someones mood noticably dismal. And I'm sure there's an imense amount of ways to help change that persons mood. Although there are many ways to help our friends when they are feeling like life enjoys messing with them, how on earth do we know when to help?
You are probably thinking that it isn't a question of how but of when. If a friend is feeling down you should always help, shouldn't you? Well let's think about this shall we? If you have ever felt terrible but just wanted to be left alone, then someone trys to talk to you to 'make you feel better' it usually just makes things worse. Then there are other days when you feel terrible but you just want someone to talk to you and convince you it gets better. How on earth do we tell the difference between the two?
If someone wants to be left alone but you try to make them feel better, well their bad mood could escalate because they haven't gotten their much needed solitude. If they need someone to talk to, but they don't want to bother their friends with their problems, you might just leave them be so you don't interrupt their much needed solitude, when really thats the opposite of what they are looking for.
So is there a way to tell the difference between needing solitude and needing comforting? Perhapse if you know the person well enough you will be able to tell the difference at a glance, but what if your unsure? If you ask if they want to talk about it, and they say no, should you just say OK and sit there untill they either say something or one of you has to leave? Maybe thats the simplest way to resolve it. If there were no such thing as bad days we wouldn't have to worry about such things. Then again saying 'if we were all mind readers' is probably just as realistic.
Imagine if you could read minds. Would you tell your best friend, or would you not want to risk losing them to the understandable mistrust that one would have toward a mindreader? I for one would be a little reluctant to use the ability, if i had it. I would feel guilty being so intrusive, and no doubt regret alot of what i hear. I think mindreaders don't exist for the very reason that they shouldn't. Our thoughts are supposed to be private our minds are meant to be a safe haven.
Wow major subject change right there! Better end this post before i start talking about something completely different.
-JustMe
You are probably thinking that it isn't a question of how but of when. If a friend is feeling down you should always help, shouldn't you? Well let's think about this shall we? If you have ever felt terrible but just wanted to be left alone, then someone trys to talk to you to 'make you feel better' it usually just makes things worse. Then there are other days when you feel terrible but you just want someone to talk to you and convince you it gets better. How on earth do we tell the difference between the two?
If someone wants to be left alone but you try to make them feel better, well their bad mood could escalate because they haven't gotten their much needed solitude. If they need someone to talk to, but they don't want to bother their friends with their problems, you might just leave them be so you don't interrupt their much needed solitude, when really thats the opposite of what they are looking for.
So is there a way to tell the difference between needing solitude and needing comforting? Perhapse if you know the person well enough you will be able to tell the difference at a glance, but what if your unsure? If you ask if they want to talk about it, and they say no, should you just say OK and sit there untill they either say something or one of you has to leave? Maybe thats the simplest way to resolve it. If there were no such thing as bad days we wouldn't have to worry about such things. Then again saying 'if we were all mind readers' is probably just as realistic.
Imagine if you could read minds. Would you tell your best friend, or would you not want to risk losing them to the understandable mistrust that one would have toward a mindreader? I for one would be a little reluctant to use the ability, if i had it. I would feel guilty being so intrusive, and no doubt regret alot of what i hear. I think mindreaders don't exist for the very reason that they shouldn't. Our thoughts are supposed to be private our minds are meant to be a safe haven.
Wow major subject change right there! Better end this post before i start talking about something completely different.
-JustMe
May 7, 2010
Ooooh Fancy!
Thank you winter for giving me this annoying cold. I have made use of my days off however. You may have noticed the fancy new look my blog has. I managed to change it between coughs, sneezes and a whole lot of tissues.
I have also discovered some other wonderful things while sitting around at home:
My computer is for some reason making a sound that i can't help but relate to ghosts. It's just a whiring type of noise but it is a little creepy.
Dimetapp day and night tablets work wonders on a headache.
Superman is just about the coolest superhero ever.
theoatmeal.com is one hell of a time waster (there you go oatmeal, free advertising!).
Froot Loops make Cheerios look like the circular sugarless breakfast food they are, in a bad way.
Harry Potter is more awesome than i gave him credit for.
I wish i could play Quidditch.
And fevers give me unusual dreams.
I don't really remember the dreams I've had lately, i just remember that they were weird enough to make me open my eyes and think "My mind full of crazy things". Which then made me think "Hey i haven't posted on my blog in a while" which then made me think "what on earth do i have to write about"
And that is the story of why this post makes very little sense.
-JustMe
I have also discovered some other wonderful things while sitting around at home:
My computer is for some reason making a sound that i can't help but relate to ghosts. It's just a whiring type of noise but it is a little creepy.
Dimetapp day and night tablets work wonders on a headache.
Superman is just about the coolest superhero ever.
theoatmeal.com is one hell of a time waster (there you go oatmeal, free advertising!).
Froot Loops make Cheerios look like the circular sugarless breakfast food they are, in a bad way.
Harry Potter is more awesome than i gave him credit for.
I wish i could play Quidditch.
And fevers give me unusual dreams.
I don't really remember the dreams I've had lately, i just remember that they were weird enough to make me open my eyes and think "My mind full of crazy things". Which then made me think "Hey i haven't posted on my blog in a while" which then made me think "what on earth do i have to write about"
And that is the story of why this post makes very little sense.
-JustMe
Apr 20, 2010
*stares blankly at the title box*
I remember when i first saw the truman show. I won't spoil it, just in case any of my 2 readers haven't seen it. All i will say is the movie made me wonder about how real our reality is.
I don't mean we are living in the matrix or anything i just mean that there are lots of things in our world that can be deceptive. Alot of what we know has come from what someone else in history has come up with so how do we know that the person that came up with this 'fact' didn't just give an extremely convincing argument? What i'm saying isn't that rediculous if you consider the fact that once apon a time people were burned to death if someone said they were a witch.
How do we know that someone a few hundred years ago didn't just pick up a book that they thought was so good they became more obsessed than a twilight fan and was convinced it was solid evidence? How do we know they didn't share this story with people telling them that it was a factual account? And can we really be sure that no one believed them and that everything in history books is completely solid? If there can be people so obsessed with fiction that they think its real today, then how can we be sure that in the days that filled our history books, the days where people were much more gulible, there weren't obsessive fans?
There could be a large percentage of our reality that is based apon imagination and maybe a little stupidity. I'm not saying I believe this i'm just saying that, if you think about it, it could be possible. It seems that humans come from a long line of gulible fools but even if we are getting smarter if what we are learning is a lie are we really getting anywhere?
Well heres to considering the imensly improbable.
-JustMe
I don't mean we are living in the matrix or anything i just mean that there are lots of things in our world that can be deceptive. Alot of what we know has come from what someone else in history has come up with so how do we know that the person that came up with this 'fact' didn't just give an extremely convincing argument? What i'm saying isn't that rediculous if you consider the fact that once apon a time people were burned to death if someone said they were a witch.
How do we know that someone a few hundred years ago didn't just pick up a book that they thought was so good they became more obsessed than a twilight fan and was convinced it was solid evidence? How do we know they didn't share this story with people telling them that it was a factual account? And can we really be sure that no one believed them and that everything in history books is completely solid? If there can be people so obsessed with fiction that they think its real today, then how can we be sure that in the days that filled our history books, the days where people were much more gulible, there weren't obsessive fans?
There could be a large percentage of our reality that is based apon imagination and maybe a little stupidity. I'm not saying I believe this i'm just saying that, if you think about it, it could be possible. It seems that humans come from a long line of gulible fools but even if we are getting smarter if what we are learning is a lie are we really getting anywhere?
Well heres to considering the imensly improbable.
-JustMe
Apr 6, 2010
I have too much time on my hands, but theres no way I would willingly give it up.
when you begin a journey of revenge start by digging two graves
one for your enemy and one for yourself
That there was in nineteen minutes by Jodi Picoult. It's like a chinese proverb or something, but i have to admit I can't help but agree with it. Mostly because of what happened to the people in that book that went seeking revenge and found it. They both ended up in jail and one of them killed themselves with a sock. I wont mention names of characters just in case you were planning on reading it.
You see the other night i went to bed at around 9:30pm and i wasn't that sleepy so i decided to read a bit more of nineteen minutes. At around 3 i finnished the book and for an hour or two more i was busy trying to sleep while the increadible story kept my mind working. That there is what makes a good story: one that makes you think about it for a long time after the final page is turned.
Why oh why do i read such depressing books. Every Jodi Picoult book i have read has had the same theme: horrible situation/event that causes irreversible emotional damage, someone dying/killing themselves/aspiring to kill themselves, families falling to peices, and with pretty much all her books there is an intense court case involved. Yet every time i visit a book store or a library i go to the shelf that has her books and willingly browse.
I certainly do have too much time on my hands but since I plan to be an author i can just claim im doing research. Could be worse i guess. I could spend all my free time watching TV and Movies! Wait i do that too. . . . Wow its a wonder i get anything done at all. Well it is official I need a life. Meh i'll get one later. For now i will write pointless things on here because SOMEONE actually asked me too.
Just Me
one for your enemy and one for yourself
That there was in nineteen minutes by Jodi Picoult. It's like a chinese proverb or something, but i have to admit I can't help but agree with it. Mostly because of what happened to the people in that book that went seeking revenge and found it. They both ended up in jail and one of them killed themselves with a sock. I wont mention names of characters just in case you were planning on reading it.
You see the other night i went to bed at around 9:30pm and i wasn't that sleepy so i decided to read a bit more of nineteen minutes. At around 3 i finnished the book and for an hour or two more i was busy trying to sleep while the increadible story kept my mind working. That there is what makes a good story: one that makes you think about it for a long time after the final page is turned.
Why oh why do i read such depressing books. Every Jodi Picoult book i have read has had the same theme: horrible situation/event that causes irreversible emotional damage, someone dying/killing themselves/aspiring to kill themselves, families falling to peices, and with pretty much all her books there is an intense court case involved. Yet every time i visit a book store or a library i go to the shelf that has her books and willingly browse.
I certainly do have too much time on my hands but since I plan to be an author i can just claim im doing research. Could be worse i guess. I could spend all my free time watching TV and Movies! Wait i do that too. . . . Wow its a wonder i get anything done at all. Well it is official I need a life. Meh i'll get one later. For now i will write pointless things on here because SOMEONE actually asked me too.
Just Me
Mar 24, 2010
Well i don't get it.
A statement i find myself saying about alot of situations. Like how every single person in the whole world can be unique when being unique is something we have in common so we aren't actually unique so we no longer have anything in common thus making everyone unique and giving everyone something in common. . . . . Well i don't get it.
Something else i don't quite get is how we can possibly fit in when we are supposedly unique, or at least extremely different from everyone else. Sometimes it can feel like everyone else goes together like a perfectly made puzzle while you are only slightly different. Not different enough for someone to notice the puzzles imperfection from afar, but different enough to be cast as a defect when someone does look closer. Feeling like that can only make one wonder if their steady coarse is limited, if it is only a matter of time before someone points and says "You're different. Why are you here?"
The fear of hearing that question can lead to searching for the answer.
"I'm here because i feel like it."
"Im here because i like it here."
"I'm here because no one realised i shouldn't be."
"I'm here because its normal."
"I'm here because its expected of me."
"Why can't i be here?"
"How do you know that i'm not the normal one and that everyone else is different?"
"It hasn't been a problem so far."
"Why. . . do you want me to leave?"
"Well it seemed like a good idea at the time but if its not working. . . "
"Your right i shouldn't be here."
"Sorry i was just waiting until someone decided i should leave."
"Its OK i'm going now."
Thinking too much, I have discovered, can be dreadfully annoying. When a situation gets stuck in my head, sometimes i can't help but run through multipul scenarios in which i confront it. Sometimes we can feel so out of place that we are truely convinced that no one cares if we are there or not. You might sometimes ask yourself, "Would anyone really notice if i wasn't there?" Is this group of people a puzzle where every peice is important, or is it more like a stack of papers and no one notices if a peice is missing?
How can some people fit in so easily while others feel like they don't quite fit? Well i don't get it. Maybe thats an answer i'll have to settle for. There are alot of things like that, questions i just can't find answers too that i'll just have to hope can be worked out. Yeah Eye Thought So is just something i can use to vent, get it all out there, ponder outside my head for once. Well guess i should stop writing before i end up with a post as long as that confronting subject one.
-JustMe
Something else i don't quite get is how we can possibly fit in when we are supposedly unique, or at least extremely different from everyone else. Sometimes it can feel like everyone else goes together like a perfectly made puzzle while you are only slightly different. Not different enough for someone to notice the puzzles imperfection from afar, but different enough to be cast as a defect when someone does look closer. Feeling like that can only make one wonder if their steady coarse is limited, if it is only a matter of time before someone points and says "You're different. Why are you here?"
The fear of hearing that question can lead to searching for the answer.
"I'm here because i feel like it."
"Im here because i like it here."
"I'm here because no one realised i shouldn't be."
"I'm here because its normal."
"I'm here because its expected of me."
"Why can't i be here?"
"How do you know that i'm not the normal one and that everyone else is different?"
"It hasn't been a problem so far."
"Why. . . do you want me to leave?"
"Well it seemed like a good idea at the time but if its not working. . . "
"Your right i shouldn't be here."
"Sorry i was just waiting until someone decided i should leave."
"Its OK i'm going now."
Thinking too much, I have discovered, can be dreadfully annoying. When a situation gets stuck in my head, sometimes i can't help but run through multipul scenarios in which i confront it. Sometimes we can feel so out of place that we are truely convinced that no one cares if we are there or not. You might sometimes ask yourself, "Would anyone really notice if i wasn't there?" Is this group of people a puzzle where every peice is important, or is it more like a stack of papers and no one notices if a peice is missing?
How can some people fit in so easily while others feel like they don't quite fit? Well i don't get it. Maybe thats an answer i'll have to settle for. There are alot of things like that, questions i just can't find answers too that i'll just have to hope can be worked out. Yeah Eye Thought So is just something i can use to vent, get it all out there, ponder outside my head for once. Well guess i should stop writing before i end up with a post as long as that confronting subject one.
-JustMe
Mar 23, 2010
Pastafarianism? Hell yes!
So anyway i thought that since i wrote such a really long post last time i ought to write something a little shorter maybe. I also figured it would be fun to make it absolutely nothing to do with anything. If you were wondering, pastafarianism is a religion that involves worshipping flying pasta.
-JustMe
-JustMe
Mar 18, 2010
Well heres a confronting subject that people aren't comfortable discussing!
For some reason i read alot of depressing books. Maybe the fact that the simple written word can effect me so is what makes me enjoy them. That and how well they are written. There are two books in particular that i feel the need to mention at least once on this blog. The pact by Jodi Picoult and Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. Each book confronts the issue of suicide and takes a look at the situation from different angles.
Thirteen Reasons Why is told from the perspective of Clay as he listens to audio tapes that his classmate Hannah recorded before she committed suicide. Through the tapes Hannah explains that there are thirteen people that did something to her that led to her ending her own life. Clay listens to each tape dreading the one that would be about him but at the same time desperate to know what he did to hurt Hannah so deeply.
This book shows that there is more to suicide than simply someone taking extreme measures to end their depression. It goes from the moment that started Hannah's downward spiral through to her last try at living. The book was written so well that you truely experience what Clay feels. You learn that Hannah was someone he always wanted to get to know, but because he was afraid to he only got to know her after she was gone.
There was a particular scene in the book that moved me to tears. When Clay is listening to a tape about Hannah finally giving up. As she retells the moment when she let herself be used, Clay cries out and punches at a wire fence. He knows she can't hear him when he shouts for her not to give up, he knows that he can't change a thing, because she is already gone. For a moment i realised how real this book was. If i could feel the pain of a fictional character then how deeply must it hurt to really go through it? I truely admire Jay Ashers talent and his work.
The pact by Jodi Picoult is a lot more detailed in its look at the issue. The pact is in adult fiction while thirteen reasons why is teen fiction, with good reason. The pact takes the issue of suicide, pulls it apart, annalises it, pulls it apart once more and leaves you feeling everything the characters feel. The story, unlike Thirteen Reasons Why, is told from different perspectives while also taking looks at the past. It is much more complex but just as, if not more, devestating.
The pact begins with a young couple, Chris and Emily, sitting alone together. Then a shot is fired. When they discover Chris passed out beside Emily's body he claims that they had planned a suicide pact, but when she shot herself the sight of the blood made him faint. It starts with a chapter from Emily's mother, Melanie's point of view. It takes you through the experience she has when she hears the news that not only was her daughter gone, but it was what Emily had wanted, and that the boy that had lived next door, that had known Emily from the day she was born, that was like a son to Melanie, had been there but still lived.
And that was just the start of the first chapter. Every second chapter it reverts to the past, from when Melanie is pregnant with Emily, and by the end of the book, to the moment when Emily's life ended. It shows the situation from every point of view: Emily's mother, her father and Chris, his mother, his father, his lawyer, and during the later chapters of the past it is from the view of Emily herself.
It shows how someone taking their own life ends the pain for them but causes so much more for everyone else. The two teenagers parents had been best friends since before Chris and Emily were born, yet when Emily is gone that friendship is ripped apart. Chris and Emily had been next door neighbours since Emily was born. "Because your two halves of a whole." is a line from the book about Emily and Chris. When she is gone Chris has lost his other half.
The book was so well written and so deeply moving, just like any Jodi Picoult book. At the end of the book it is as if they cannot be happy anymore, because she is gone. The book is quite depressing but it made me think. Suicide isn't just about the individual. There is so much more to it than that. If someone is suicidal it is not just a cry for help or an over reaction to sadness. It is real. There are so many more layers to it than i ever realised.
Before i read these books suicide was never something i thought of as a real issue. I have never known someone that was suicidal so the issue wasn't one i needed to confront. Then one day i stumbled apon thirteen reasons why at the library. I just added it to my pile of books and went home, not even realising i would do nothing but read that book the next day. That was just when i started thinking about it. I realised how one cruel moment could just be the begining. That it could lead to another devestating moment and another and another until the pain is too much.
Then one day i was in the book store and i stumbled apon a book that i now realise was definately not meant to be in the teen fiction. I got the book from the library and one depressing weekend later the pact was constantly making me think. I thought about how one horrid experience could fester and effect someone for their entire lives. . . and sometimes make them shorten that life. I thought about how when people are feeling something it doesn't just effect them, everyone around them is effected, and that the ending of a life can be the destruction of six others. Or more.
I also believe you can never understand what someone else is thinking. I don't believe there is such thing as a textbook case of depression because people are far too complex to have the same problems running through their head as someone else. Suicide is an issue, and a serious one at that. I just wish that the people thinking about ending it all didn't have a reason to, let alone thirteen of them. The world was designed for us especially, it shouldn't be so horrible. These two books made me think twice about everything i say, everything i do. It is so easy to miss the signs that someone is depressed because people aren't programed to see what they don't expect to be there.
So if you have ever had suicidal thoughts, please don't give up. There is so much more the world has to offer. If things are so bad that you want to end them all, talk to someone about it. Ask for help, you have nothing to lose but there is happiness to be gained. Don't let the world crush you, don't just lay down and take the beating that is life. Fight back. Tell the world that it can't beat you. Don't let the sadness win.
As for those of you that, like me, have never had suicidal thoughts, if you have ever made fun of someone, if you have ever made up a rumor or just done something plain horrible to make someone feel absolutely awful, appologise. If you ever think of playing a trick on someone or doing something to make their life uncomfortable, think twice. Your actions could stay with them for longer than you realise, festering into something worse than misery. If you do take something from this extremely long post other than two increadible books to look up, let it be this: What you do in this world matters.
ps: To any friends or family that are reading this, relax i am not nore have i ever been suicidal. I just like trying to work out things that don't make sense to me.
-JustMe
Thirteen Reasons Why is told from the perspective of Clay as he listens to audio tapes that his classmate Hannah recorded before she committed suicide. Through the tapes Hannah explains that there are thirteen people that did something to her that led to her ending her own life. Clay listens to each tape dreading the one that would be about him but at the same time desperate to know what he did to hurt Hannah so deeply.
This book shows that there is more to suicide than simply someone taking extreme measures to end their depression. It goes from the moment that started Hannah's downward spiral through to her last try at living. The book was written so well that you truely experience what Clay feels. You learn that Hannah was someone he always wanted to get to know, but because he was afraid to he only got to know her after she was gone.
There was a particular scene in the book that moved me to tears. When Clay is listening to a tape about Hannah finally giving up. As she retells the moment when she let herself be used, Clay cries out and punches at a wire fence. He knows she can't hear him when he shouts for her not to give up, he knows that he can't change a thing, because she is already gone. For a moment i realised how real this book was. If i could feel the pain of a fictional character then how deeply must it hurt to really go through it? I truely admire Jay Ashers talent and his work.
The pact by Jodi Picoult is a lot more detailed in its look at the issue. The pact is in adult fiction while thirteen reasons why is teen fiction, with good reason. The pact takes the issue of suicide, pulls it apart, annalises it, pulls it apart once more and leaves you feeling everything the characters feel. The story, unlike Thirteen Reasons Why, is told from different perspectives while also taking looks at the past. It is much more complex but just as, if not more, devestating.
The pact begins with a young couple, Chris and Emily, sitting alone together. Then a shot is fired. When they discover Chris passed out beside Emily's body he claims that they had planned a suicide pact, but when she shot herself the sight of the blood made him faint. It starts with a chapter from Emily's mother, Melanie's point of view. It takes you through the experience she has when she hears the news that not only was her daughter gone, but it was what Emily had wanted, and that the boy that had lived next door, that had known Emily from the day she was born, that was like a son to Melanie, had been there but still lived.
And that was just the start of the first chapter. Every second chapter it reverts to the past, from when Melanie is pregnant with Emily, and by the end of the book, to the moment when Emily's life ended. It shows the situation from every point of view: Emily's mother, her father and Chris, his mother, his father, his lawyer, and during the later chapters of the past it is from the view of Emily herself.
It shows how someone taking their own life ends the pain for them but causes so much more for everyone else. The two teenagers parents had been best friends since before Chris and Emily were born, yet when Emily is gone that friendship is ripped apart. Chris and Emily had been next door neighbours since Emily was born. "Because your two halves of a whole." is a line from the book about Emily and Chris. When she is gone Chris has lost his other half.
The book was so well written and so deeply moving, just like any Jodi Picoult book. At the end of the book it is as if they cannot be happy anymore, because she is gone. The book is quite depressing but it made me think. Suicide isn't just about the individual. There is so much more to it than that. If someone is suicidal it is not just a cry for help or an over reaction to sadness. It is real. There are so many more layers to it than i ever realised.
Before i read these books suicide was never something i thought of as a real issue. I have never known someone that was suicidal so the issue wasn't one i needed to confront. Then one day i stumbled apon thirteen reasons why at the library. I just added it to my pile of books and went home, not even realising i would do nothing but read that book the next day. That was just when i started thinking about it. I realised how one cruel moment could just be the begining. That it could lead to another devestating moment and another and another until the pain is too much.
Then one day i was in the book store and i stumbled apon a book that i now realise was definately not meant to be in the teen fiction. I got the book from the library and one depressing weekend later the pact was constantly making me think. I thought about how one horrid experience could fester and effect someone for their entire lives. . . and sometimes make them shorten that life. I thought about how when people are feeling something it doesn't just effect them, everyone around them is effected, and that the ending of a life can be the destruction of six others. Or more.
I also believe you can never understand what someone else is thinking. I don't believe there is such thing as a textbook case of depression because people are far too complex to have the same problems running through their head as someone else. Suicide is an issue, and a serious one at that. I just wish that the people thinking about ending it all didn't have a reason to, let alone thirteen of them. The world was designed for us especially, it shouldn't be so horrible. These two books made me think twice about everything i say, everything i do. It is so easy to miss the signs that someone is depressed because people aren't programed to see what they don't expect to be there.
So if you have ever had suicidal thoughts, please don't give up. There is so much more the world has to offer. If things are so bad that you want to end them all, talk to someone about it. Ask for help, you have nothing to lose but there is happiness to be gained. Don't let the world crush you, don't just lay down and take the beating that is life. Fight back. Tell the world that it can't beat you. Don't let the sadness win.
As for those of you that, like me, have never had suicidal thoughts, if you have ever made fun of someone, if you have ever made up a rumor or just done something plain horrible to make someone feel absolutely awful, appologise. If you ever think of playing a trick on someone or doing something to make their life uncomfortable, think twice. Your actions could stay with them for longer than you realise, festering into something worse than misery. If you do take something from this extremely long post other than two increadible books to look up, let it be this: What you do in this world matters.
ps: To any friends or family that are reading this, relax i am not nore have i ever been suicidal. I just like trying to work out things that don't make sense to me.
-JustMe
Mar 17, 2010
Smoke, clouds and other floating inconsistancies
Sometimes i think everyone moves too fast, myself included. We take each day as it comes like the days are baseballs being shot to us by a machine. We have to hit each one just right or it could fly by or worse hit us square in the face. You don't have time to admire the slight sound of the wind being pushed around by the ball, you can't stop to figure out what part of the machine is making that flicking noise when the ball is loading. You just have to take it without knowing why your holding that bat in the first place.
Everyday is just another baseball that we need to hit. When we are kids we are just doing it because its fun. We didn't always hit the ball but it didn't matter. Because it wasn't about how many hits we could get it was about how much fun we had doing it. Then as you play the game for longer, the number of times you make contanct with the ball gets more important. You reach highschool and missing the ball can throw you completely off your game. Then the further into life you get the harder you hit, and the farther you want the ball to go.
This whole time spent making sure you hit each day just right, the sun was shining, the clouds were gliding by, the breeze was keeping you cool. We get so cought up in surviving each day that we forget to enjoy it. A world that exists just for us to live in. Every now and then we should stop staring at the machine that insists on continuously throwing these days at us. Put the bat down, step away from the plate. The days will come to pass and the world will not end. Lie down on the grass, stare at the clouds. Spend a moment doing nothing and be thankful because you don't have to hit the days all the time. Occasionally you can relax.
-JustMe
Everyday is just another baseball that we need to hit. When we are kids we are just doing it because its fun. We didn't always hit the ball but it didn't matter. Because it wasn't about how many hits we could get it was about how much fun we had doing it. Then as you play the game for longer, the number of times you make contanct with the ball gets more important. You reach highschool and missing the ball can throw you completely off your game. Then the further into life you get the harder you hit, and the farther you want the ball to go.
This whole time spent making sure you hit each day just right, the sun was shining, the clouds were gliding by, the breeze was keeping you cool. We get so cought up in surviving each day that we forget to enjoy it. A world that exists just for us to live in. Every now and then we should stop staring at the machine that insists on continuously throwing these days at us. Put the bat down, step away from the plate. The days will come to pass and the world will not end. Lie down on the grass, stare at the clouds. Spend a moment doing nothing and be thankful because you don't have to hit the days all the time. Occasionally you can relax.
-JustMe
Mar 13, 2010
Fiction, why must you mislead me so?
Sometimes i truely wish life was more like what i read in books or see in movies and tv shows. Why can't i be clever and witty like the characters from my books? Although alot of the time i'm truely thankful that I have nothing in common with the people in my books, mostly when the book I'm reading is by Jodi Picoult because someone always tends to die in her books.
Alot of the time though when these things made for entertainment come up with a character that is smart, witty, successful and comes up with lots of clever one liners, I can't help but wonder if there is anyone that is like that really.
I spend alot of time thinking about originality. People are rarely who they say they are. More often than not they are who they think you want them to be. Its like there are more similarities between TV and reality than we realise. TV is all about actors pretending to be these people so they can tell these stories and give their viewers what they want. Doesn't everyone put on a mask when they go to entertain their peers or work mates? You might not be pretending to be a cop or some other television stereotype but you still aren't being yourself. Maybe you do it so that if someone doesn't like what they see you can tell them it isn't really you.
I'm not pointing fingers here I'm not trying to say everyone is a fake but me. I'm just saying there are a hell of alot of fakes in this world. They give in to what the media wants them to be and they try to the death to be it. I know this might be hipocritical saying i wish i was like the characters in books then saying no one is real, but what I'm trying to say is that the characters in books aren't nessicarily what the author is like. The characters in film and tv aren't nessicarily the same as the actors.
We all wear masks, for some people its a job requirement. Now i'm not trying to give some life lesson or anything I'm just thinking outloud, or rather im just thinking online. Well i think i have written enough for one day.
Bye for now,
JustMe
Alot of the time though when these things made for entertainment come up with a character that is smart, witty, successful and comes up with lots of clever one liners, I can't help but wonder if there is anyone that is like that really.
I spend alot of time thinking about originality. People are rarely who they say they are. More often than not they are who they think you want them to be. Its like there are more similarities between TV and reality than we realise. TV is all about actors pretending to be these people so they can tell these stories and give their viewers what they want. Doesn't everyone put on a mask when they go to entertain their peers or work mates? You might not be pretending to be a cop or some other television stereotype but you still aren't being yourself. Maybe you do it so that if someone doesn't like what they see you can tell them it isn't really you.
I'm not pointing fingers here I'm not trying to say everyone is a fake but me. I'm just saying there are a hell of alot of fakes in this world. They give in to what the media wants them to be and they try to the death to be it. I know this might be hipocritical saying i wish i was like the characters in books then saying no one is real, but what I'm trying to say is that the characters in books aren't nessicarily what the author is like. The characters in film and tv aren't nessicarily the same as the actors.
We all wear masks, for some people its a job requirement. Now i'm not trying to give some life lesson or anything I'm just thinking outloud, or rather im just thinking online. Well i think i have written enough for one day.
Bye for now,
JustMe
Mar 9, 2010
Here Goes Nothin
Well today i decided to write again. Mostly because I'm avoiding other things that have to be done. But i have been annoyed recently and figured this might give me some relief. That was the original purpose of this right?
Is it just me, or is there not a single person that is themselves? Lets face it, you can say that you are being you to your friends and they might even agree, but it would most likely be a lie. Because there is no one you. There is who you are around your friends. then there is another person that you are when you are with you family. It goes the same for where ever you are, workplace clubs or any other group. If there is a different group of people you will act different.
Yeah yeah i know what your thinking. "This isn't true i am myself around everyone! Shut up this is just you." Well you make a good point. It could be just me but from what i observed after realising that i change in each new environment, is that people act different unconciously.
If group A enjoys a persons company because they are loud and unpredictable but group B only accepts said person when they are calm and cool then this person unconciously adjusts whenever they pass each group.
Look i'm not judging I'm thinking. I know i do it. I'm around one group of friends and i am what i once considered myself. I thought i was always myself until i realised that with my family i am different. I didn't realise this until i started spending some of my time with another group. A group that has excepted my first impression of being quiet but occasionally saying something unexpected. They have excepted that of me so that is who i am when i am with them.
Just because i realise this doesnt mean i plan to change. Despite the argument that people should be themselves and that originality is best, this is extremely difficult to achieve. Mostly because i don't know who i have to be to be myself. Does the fact that i have to wonder who i have to be if i want to be me mean i can no longer be me? Will i just have to accept who others want me to be? Or can i discover me through the freedom in this blog? Can anyone discover who they really are?
I come to no conclusion. If anyone actually reads this and can be bothered posting, which i highly doubt, i wouldn't mind your opinion. It doesn't make sense. Like a lot of things it doesnt make sense. Why would we be made unique then our natural instinc be to fit in? Does anyone know? I doubt it.
I'll return my non-existant viewers that don't exist.
JustMe
Is it just me, or is there not a single person that is themselves? Lets face it, you can say that you are being you to your friends and they might even agree, but it would most likely be a lie. Because there is no one you. There is who you are around your friends. then there is another person that you are when you are with you family. It goes the same for where ever you are, workplace clubs or any other group. If there is a different group of people you will act different.
Yeah yeah i know what your thinking. "This isn't true i am myself around everyone! Shut up this is just you." Well you make a good point. It could be just me but from what i observed after realising that i change in each new environment, is that people act different unconciously.
If group A enjoys a persons company because they are loud and unpredictable but group B only accepts said person when they are calm and cool then this person unconciously adjusts whenever they pass each group.
Look i'm not judging I'm thinking. I know i do it. I'm around one group of friends and i am what i once considered myself. I thought i was always myself until i realised that with my family i am different. I didn't realise this until i started spending some of my time with another group. A group that has excepted my first impression of being quiet but occasionally saying something unexpected. They have excepted that of me so that is who i am when i am with them.
Just because i realise this doesnt mean i plan to change. Despite the argument that people should be themselves and that originality is best, this is extremely difficult to achieve. Mostly because i don't know who i have to be to be myself. Does the fact that i have to wonder who i have to be if i want to be me mean i can no longer be me? Will i just have to accept who others want me to be? Or can i discover me through the freedom in this blog? Can anyone discover who they really are?
I come to no conclusion. If anyone actually reads this and can be bothered posting, which i highly doubt, i wouldn't mind your opinion. It doesn't make sense. Like a lot of things it doesnt make sense. Why would we be made unique then our natural instinc be to fit in? Does anyone know? I doubt it.
I'll return my non-existant viewers that don't exist.
JustMe
YeahEyeThoughtSo
Well I guess i should write something. That is after all the purpose of one of these things. I suppose if anyone at all even stumbles apon this they would expect some form of writing to entertain them. Thats all anyone ever expects wheather they know it or not we are all expecting life to throw some interesting thing at us as incentive to stay.
"Hey life my dayly routine is getting a little dry, mind giving me some entertainment? If you do i won't cancel my membership!" I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. You can't get something for nothing. You want entertainment? Say yes to the occasional oppertunity rather than rationalising it.
Before i go on with this pointless writing i would like to point out that i'm doing this for my benifit. I am not pointing fingers i am not trying to tell everyone that they aren't living right I'm just writing down what shows up in my head. For once i'd like to see my thoughts. I'm not going to say my name unless i get bored or decide i don't feel like hiding but for now i won't.
I'm not sure how this whole thing is gonna go. To be honest i only started it because i don't like the idea of a diary. I am into writing and i don't see the point in writing something no one will see. The point is i don't know where this will go it might vary from day to day and there is no way i will write one every day. There are just some things that you need to let out.
Sometimes i think i don't belong, that i'm out of place, that the world just isn't where i can be. I guess it would be nice to know that i'm not the only one. These might sound like pathetic scribblings of a lonely idiot that discovered a lonely corner of internet that hasn't been seen and probably won't, but this isn't just another damn story. This is what i think. This is what i mean. Have you noticed that when people are themselves they don't say what they mean but when they are someone else they are free to?
Yeah, I thought so.
"Hey life my dayly routine is getting a little dry, mind giving me some entertainment? If you do i won't cancel my membership!" I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. You can't get something for nothing. You want entertainment? Say yes to the occasional oppertunity rather than rationalising it.
Before i go on with this pointless writing i would like to point out that i'm doing this for my benifit. I am not pointing fingers i am not trying to tell everyone that they aren't living right I'm just writing down what shows up in my head. For once i'd like to see my thoughts. I'm not going to say my name unless i get bored or decide i don't feel like hiding but for now i won't.
I'm not sure how this whole thing is gonna go. To be honest i only started it because i don't like the idea of a diary. I am into writing and i don't see the point in writing something no one will see. The point is i don't know where this will go it might vary from day to day and there is no way i will write one every day. There are just some things that you need to let out.
Sometimes i think i don't belong, that i'm out of place, that the world just isn't where i can be. I guess it would be nice to know that i'm not the only one. These might sound like pathetic scribblings of a lonely idiot that discovered a lonely corner of internet that hasn't been seen and probably won't, but this isn't just another damn story. This is what i think. This is what i mean. Have you noticed that when people are themselves they don't say what they mean but when they are someone else they are free to?
Yeah, I thought so.
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